dedicated to whoever-that-is-involved:

Well, I just decided to post a proper post, before I really lose my ability to journal. These few days/weeks have been significant enough such that they are worth a post as well. Since I started this blog, I think I have been talking in riddles so much, people get frustrated reading it, and I gradually lose my ability to write as well. But, sometimes I think it's necessary to write in riddles, and those reading would probably understand it when I say...sometimes some things you want to say it so desperately, but you know you can't, whereas other times, you find it pointless to say those things you can. And that's more than enough justification for me, because I never liked to justify my actions, like it or not, you just have to deal with it.

So, back to the main point. Life after As have been significantly different from life before As, like obviously. I think no matter how I want to lie to myself, I have gotten enough of my so-called "well-deserved break" and so life continues. I have been partying, going out, going overseas, camping, etc since the end of As till 2010 begins. While it is true that I haven't had a proper break for the past 4 years of my life, and no holidays for that matter, I feel relieved that I have woken myself up in time to stop rotting my life away and start doing something. So, yes, partying has been infinite fun, till you get bored of both going out and staying at home, then you know that perhaps it is time to do something.

And then the age old question of what is that "something" you should do comes. Here, I would just like to say that the idea of work is hard to find is actually quite a myth and that begins my first trouble. You see, because I am one of the later ones to commence in looking for a job, I sought the advice of all my friends who has gotten a job to search more actively for a job and in the end, by some miracle, I have gotten so much jobs that I don't know how to reject people. The interesting thing is no companies actually rejected me thus far, and it's hard for me to say no when I'm the one who applied, and so I racked my brains so hard to find a solution to all these, but whatever it is, I've like 2 job offers on hand now, and we'll see what to do about it. Afterall, I think it's God's plans for me to have these jobs, if not they wouldn't "come running at me" as how Chongwai puts it. So thank you, God (:

In any case, I have no idea whether I am allowed to publicise what job I am currently taking up, due to the content that I am about to publish, so ask me personally if you still don't know. In any case, this particular job has been rather eye-opening for me. While it is true that I have always been slightly proud of the fact that I've been working since primary 5 and supporting myself financially since IP, this job is just slightly different, probably because I was too young in the past to notice and thereafter, tutoring is seriously easy money.

Whatever it is, the work environment at where I am is seriously the only reason that's pulling me back. Actually, I've been hearing the "why are you here?!" question for so many times these three days, I started wondering what I am doing there. Having $4 an hour for all the physical work is seriously not quite worth it. My colleagues suggested me to go back to tutoring or finding administrative jobs to do (and it's not all that hard since I rejected a $6.50 administrative job earlier) and that really makes me wonder why I am still there. Well, I know that initially I was kind of forced into it, but after I started it, there's just this lure there - the feeling of being really alive and living perhaps.

Well, to begin with, I am like the peculiar one that is working there. Everyone else is either from poly/secondary school and I feel really sheltered when I'm there. It's not that they are leading lives that are a lot worse-off or whatsoever, but somehow, I feel that I lost the connection I once had with them. Honestly, with my background, I didn't feel like I belong to such an elite school I am in, and I always felt that I could connect more with the non-elite gang, but somehow, I think these four years changed things a little. I still enjoy being with my colleagues at where I am working, and I can still understand their language and all, but somehow I am just not like them. Like how Jasmine commented when I returned to Nan Hua after VIP, I have indeed quietened down too much and tamed down too much. I am not like them - carefree, happy, loud, fun, rule-breaking.

I remember myself like that last time, but I guess things have changed, for the better or worse I don't know, but things have indeed changed. Now, to my colleagues, I am the smart and guai kid, who studies in JC and doesn't smoke. Well, in any case, everyone thought I was collecting my O level results and I have to repeat myself so many times that I'm waiting for A levels results instead, because I am the only JC-er there. It's kind of saddening to hear them say that JC-ers should be doing administrative work and getting higher pay, but somehow I think I just have to accept it as part of reality, like how I did last time. It reminds me a lot of "the outsiders" once again. I was a greaser, till I abandoned it and became a soc perhaps. Anyway, it's rather interesting working there, in that kind of environment and it feels like how it did last time, only that I've changed. Still, I like my colleagues and I like working with them, and I guess, that's the thing that's really preventing me from quitting now, just that I wouldn't tell them. You really feel alive when you're not at the top all the time, and I know that half the people who read this wouldn't understand what I'm talking about, but I guess you'll know one day.

So that's the good parts of working, the slightly more interesting parts. And like all other things, there's always the good and the bad. This work that I've been doing has been nothing less than physically taxing. I was so worn out for the first two days, I really enjoyed my off day on Monday. It was tiring till a point, I cannot be bothered to complain about it to anyone at all. So I guess I haven't been telling anyone detailedly what I've been doing there. Well, I don't know how to describe all the standard operating protocols to you all as well, but basically, it's just a lot of running up and down to check that everything is still working fine, a lot of cleaning up and tidying and picking up trash and a lot of ushering and greeting customers. But in any case, today's fine, probably because I am no longer a trainee and so they divide the work equally and stop making me do all the rubbish. Still, the work is getting a little boring and tiring, other than the hiccups once in a while that sets everyone in "emergency" mode, trying to think of a solution. What I realised today is that hiccups occur quite frequently in reality, not like the cushioned events we have been planning, and how you really have to deal with them is to just stay calm and wriggle a way out. Another thing that I realised today is that it is really quite heartening when people there appreciate your service. It lightens your load a lot. I never really thought about it till two separate customers called me by my name today and thanked me. It's quite fulfilling, especially when you think that your job is not recognised, in any aspect, be it pay, customers, or colleagues. So, you who are reading the post now, do extend your appreciation to those around you whenever possible alright! (:

Well, that's about all that I have to comment about my new job. The reason that I am actually posting it now is because I would be switched from floor to box from Thursdays onwards, and I don't know what to expect. I have been wanting to be switched there all the while, like everyone else, but I guess I have resigned to the fate of being stuck at floor after seeing so many trainees before me being stuck, and suddenly when the chance comes, I don't know how to feel. And in fact, I am a bit apprehensive about the idea of dealing with money, since I have so little pay to pay for all the money that I'd lose :/ Oh wells. We'll have to see how it goes. The job has been fulfilling so far (though I'm sure if the reader here would understand), and I'm sure it has more to offer, so for now, yes, I'm sticking on to my job, despite all the advice to switch. In any case, I'm going to take up Serve from Monday onwards, if that information makes any difference in your life. So yes, I'll be busy from next week on, gving and serving. :/

dedicated to whoever-that-is-involved:

Well, I just decided to post a proper post, before I really lose my ability to journal. These few days/weeks have been significant enough such that they are worth a post as well. Since I started this blog, I think I have been talking in riddles so much, people get frustrated reading it, and I gradually lose my ability to write as well. But, sometimes I think it's necessary to write in riddles, and those reading would probably understand it when I say...sometimes some things you want to say it so desperately, but you know you can't, whereas other times, you find it pointless to say those things you can. And that's more than enough justification for me, because I never liked to justify my actions, like it or not, you just have to deal with it.

So, back to the main point. Life after As have been significantly different from life before As, like obviously. I think no matter how I want to lie to myself, I have gotten enough of my so-called "well-deserved break" and so life continues. I have been partying, going out, going overseas, camping, etc since the end of As till 2010 begins. While it is true that I haven't had a proper break for the past 4 years of my life, and no holidays for that matter, I feel relieved that I have woken myself up in time to stop rotting my life away and start doing something. So, yes, partying has been infinite fun, till you get bored of both going out and staying at home, then you know that perhaps it is time to do something.

And then the age old question of what is that "something" you should do comes. Here, I would just like to say that the idea of work is hard to find is actually quite a myth and that begins my first trouble. You see, because I am one of the later ones to commence in looking for a job, I sought the advice of all my friends who has gotten a job to search more actively for a job and in the end, by some miracle, I have gotten so much jobs that I don't know how to reject people. The interesting thing is no companies actually rejected me thus far, and it's hard for me to say no when I'm the one who applied, and so I racked my brains so hard to find a solution to all these, but whatever it is, I've like 2 job offers on hand now, and we'll see what to do about it. Afterall, I think it's God's plans for me to have these jobs, if not they wouldn't "come running at me" as how Chongwai puts it. So thank you, God (:

In any case, I have no idea whether I am allowed to publicise what job I am currently taking up, due to the content that I am about to publish, so ask me personally if you still don't know. In any case, this particular job has been rather eye-opening for me. While it is true that I have always been slightly proud of the fact that I've been working since primary 5 and supporting myself financially since IP, this job is just slightly different, probably because I was too young in the past to notice and thereafter, tutoring is seriously easy money.

Whatever it is, the work environment at where I am is seriously the only reason that's pulling me back. Actually, I've been hearing the "why are you here?!" question for so many times these three days, I started wondering what I am doing there. Having $4 an hour for all the physical work is seriously not quite worth it. My colleagues suggested me to go back to tutoring or finding administrative jobs to do (and it's not all that hard since I rejected a $6.50 administrative job earlier) and that really makes me wonder why I am still there. Well, I know that initially I was kind of forced into it, but after I started it, there's just this lure there - the feeling of being really alive and living perhaps.

Well, to begin with, I am like the peculiar one that is working there. Everyone else is either from poly/secondary school and I feel really sheltered when I'm there. It's not that they are leading lives that are a lot worse-off or whatsoever, but somehow, I feel that I lost the connection I once had with them. Honestly, with my background, I didn't feel like I belong to such an elite school I am in, and I always felt that I could connect more with the non-elite gang, but somehow, I think these four years changed things a little. I still enjoy being with my colleagues at where I am working, and I can still understand their language and all, but somehow I am just not like them. Like how Jasmine commented when I returned to Nan Hua after VIP, I have indeed quietened down too much and tamed down too much. I am not like them - carefree, happy, loud, fun, rule-breaking.

I remember myself like that last time, but I guess things have changed, for the better or worse I don't know, but things have indeed changed. Now, to my colleagues, I am the smart and guai kid, who studies in JC and doesn't smoke. Well, in any case, everyone thought I was collecting my O level results and I have to repeat myself so many times that I'm waiting for A levels results instead, because I am the only JC-er there. It's kind of saddening to hear them say that JC-ers should be doing administrative work and getting higher pay, but somehow I think I just have to accept it as part of reality, like how I did last time. It reminds me a lot of "the outsiders" once again. I was a greaser, till I abandoned it and became a soc perhaps. Anyway, it's rather interesting working there, in that kind of environment and it feels like how it did last time, only that I've changed. Still, I like my colleagues and I like working with them, and I guess, that's the thing that's really preventing me from quitting now, just that I wouldn't tell them. You really feel alive when you're not at the top all the time, and I know that half the people who read this wouldn't understand what I'm talking about, but I guess you'll know one day.

So that's the good parts of working, the slightly more interesting parts. And like all other things, there's always the good and the bad. This work that I've been doing has been nothing less than physically taxing. I was so worn out for the first two days, I really enjoyed my off day on Monday. It was tiring till a point, I cannot be bothered to complain about it to anyone at all. So I guess I haven't been telling anyone detailedly what I've been doing there. Well, I don't know how to describe all the standard operating protocols to you all as well, but basically, it's just a lot of running up and down to check that everything is still working fine, a lot of cleaning up and tidying and picking up trash and a lot of ushering and greeting customers. But in any case, today's fine, probably because I am no longer a trainee and so they divide the work equally and stop making me do all the rubbish. Still, the work is getting a little boring and tiring, other than the hiccups once in a while that sets everyone in "emergency" mode, trying to think of a solution. What I realised today is that hiccups occur quite frequently in reality, not like the cushioned events we have been planning, and how you really have to deal with them is to just stay calm and wriggle a way out. Another thing that I realised today is that it is really quite heartening when people there appreciate your service. It lightens your load a lot. I never really thought about it till two separate customers called me by my name today and thanked me. It's quite fulfilling, especially when you think that your job is not recognised, in any aspect, be it pay, customers, or colleagues. So, you who are reading the post now, do extend your appreciation to those around you whenever possible alright! (:

Well, that's about all that I have to comment about my new job. The reason that I am actually posting it now is because I would be switched from floor to box from Thursdays onwards, and I don't know what to expect. I have been wanting to be switched there all the while, like everyone else, but I guess I have resigned to the fate of being stuck at floor after seeing so many trainees before me being stuck, and suddenly when the chance comes, I don't know how to feel. And in fact, I am a bit apprehensive about the idea of dealing with money, since I have so little pay to pay for all the money that I'd lose :/ Oh wells. We'll have to see how it goes. The job has been fulfilling so far (though I'm sure if the reader here would understand), and I'm sure it has more to offer, so for now, yes, I'm sticking on to my job, despite all the advice to switch. In any case, I'm going to take up Serve from Monday onwards, if that information makes any difference in your life. So yes, I'll be busy from next week on, gving and serving. :/